Astro Humor Webseries

Sagittarius Kosmo Kitty


Caturday returns in Sagittarius!

A Sagittarius Kosmo Kitty is quite the adventurous cat, slipping out at night through the cat door. This larger-than-life cat prefers to travel to distant worlds and distant cultures enjoying the thrill of meeting new humans, new cats and learning new things. A Sadge Kosmo Kitty may have a taste for the exotic and flare for the worldly. Kosmo Kitty may know how to hold chopsticks and know how to dance the folk steps of Germanic people. Next time you let your cat outside, imagine the journey he or she will embark upon.

"A journal of a 1,000 steps begins with one paw." Lao-tzu

Scorpio Kosmo Kitty

87 cat attack

Scorpio Caturday!

Some people refer to Scorpio as "the bad cat", but this is non-sense. Each cat has it's good and bad, the Mars-ruled sign of Scorpio just isn't afraid to show it. While a Scorpio cat will be clingy, cuddly and cute, they can also be obsessive, secretive and NEVER forget any wrong-doing from a human, animal or toy. When this scorpion cat strikes, it does so with precision and extreme focus. If the Scorpio cat becomes quiet (and perhaps has it ears back with tag wagging violently from side-to-side), it may be on the attack as this emotional water-sign cat has trouble communicating it's needs and would rather claw, clamp, bite and back-leg-kick it's way to resolution.

The physical appearance of the Scorpio cat is slender with a sexy cat-body and walks with a deep intense stare into the eyes of any ill-fated human. These cats are also subject to feelings of inadequacy and can be self-destructive, always trying to get and bite it's own tail. This intense cat loves the dark, hiding under boxes or grocery bags, and dangerous sports such as jumping from the tall armoire in a single leap. Scorpio cats also benefit from being neutered or spayed as they will continuously have sex on everything and over everything you love.

Jupiter! Get Out of Gemini!

Hungary Ericsson LabJupiter has been in Gemini since June 2012 and will be in Gemini until the end of June 2013. In October, Jupiter moved retrograde and will station direct and move forward on 30, January, 2013. In Gemini, Jupiter is in detriment, this means that this particular transit for Jupiter is a bit more uncomfortable than say Sagittarius, Pisces or even Cancer. Why is that?

Jupiter is concerned with big ideas. With the big picture. With the overall arcing truth of the matter. The truth and expansion of the Universe, of knowledge and of God himself. Gemini is a sign concerned with the details. With great difference and variety in pictures. With the surface of the matter. The gossip and ideas of the here and now, of this person and that person, this place and that place, this book, that store, this website, that magazine, this music, that cuisine. You get the idea.

With Jupiter in Gemini, there's no doubt that you've felt the clumsiness, the klutziness and the utter clutterness of this giant planet in such a jumpy sign. There's no doubt that trying to find the value in one endeavor has been influenced by the jarring need to move onward, to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next...Although this may be mentally painful at times, other times you may be generally staring in the direction of intellect, of networking, of social activities and of expanding your mind.

What can you expect personally from Jupiter in Gemini? You may be receiving some recognition or rewards in the house of which Gemini resides for you. So there is an upside to Jupiter being in any house of Gemini.

For example, if you have a...

1st House Gemini: you're the best, and you can feel it right now, can't you!?

2nd House Gemini: you betta work! new furniture, new wardrobe, new money?

3rd House Gemini: explore the neighborhood, say hello and break down for an iPhone.

4th House Gemini: connecting with family and learning your ancestral lineage is cool, oy vey!

5th House Gemini: three words...creative, fun, romance!

6th House Gemini:  while your health may get a boost, look out for too much of a good thing (Chocolate Port Fig Tart anyone?)

7th House Gemini: yes, this could bring a boyfriend or girlfriend but may also benefit your relationships to ALL humans, selfish jerk!

8th House Gemini: other people's money, sexual explorations and quests for spiritual transformation. What else is there?

9th House Gemini: publish a book, go back to school and take that trip to Sub-Saharan Africa you've always wanted to!

10th House Gemini: focus on career, work those opportunities and wink at your boss (it helps.)

11th House Gemini: sure, you could join the complex web of a social justice anarchist brotherhood, or you could just volunteer.

12th House Gemini: the Great Benefic planet here will probably keep you from going to jail...or a mental hospital.